Just making sure that this thing is working No point in singing if this thing isn't working So I'd better make sure that this thing is working In the first place Gotta test the microphone gotta test the headphones No need for the telephone I don't gotta sousaphone Gotta make sure my sound setup's working In the first place Toe Toe Toe in pain Banged it in the bedroom now my toe's in pain Don't know what I hit it on had to be something pointy Toe toe toe in pain (accordion) Doesn't seem to be infected just a scratch nothing major toe toe toe in pain Banged it on some object now my toe's in pain Reflecting pool Sitting there reflecting things Not doing anything else worth mentioning Seems pretty dull being a reflecting pool but on the other hand you probably meet a lot of interesting people being a reflecting pool I should try it reflecting that is someday Startled by his own incompetence Mr. Groundhog makes his excuses and retreats to the burrow that he calls his home to drink his troubles away Once upon a time he was quite amazing like a psychic or a computer but now in the burrow that he calls his home he considers his days to be over Mr. Groundhog, can't you see that the days of a life are decided by me and by me I mean you 'cause I don't mean I so there's no one to blame, is that why you cry? Startled by his own incompetence Mr. Groundhog crawls out of his burrow and retreats to the job that he calls his home to work his troubles away Atop a lonely mountain in the shadow of a boulder There sits the only man alive who isn't getting older A chicken in the one hand, eraser in the other A poem on the rocky ledge proclaiming you his brother The sun goes dark and weepy and the moon begins to dance The mountain sways in time with the old man's familiar trance Eraser in the one hand and a hamhock in the other A poem on the rocky ledge proclaiming you my brother Flock stares at one sheep, a sheep with six eyes The mutant stares back and to no one's surprise The flock is on fire and running away The pyrokinetic sheep goes on its way Somewhere else entirely I sit in a room with headphones on Listening to my own voice Telling inane stories A toaster declares independence from kitchen The fridge tries to reason, the toaster won't listen The toaster explodes like a megaton bomb Nearby the TV set still has nothing on Somewhere else entirely I sit here strapped to an accordion Listening to my own notes Telling inane stories A cavern of gold awaits any young hero With courage enough to pass through its walls The call goes out far but nobody answers The heroes are elsewhere exploring the malls Somewhere else entirely Bass Treble A beige rectangle moves vertically in a sinusoidal rhythm Several green cones are clustered about its base Multiply my face by 71 take the answer you get and kick it out the front door Gotta go insane before it's time for mystery tea Multiply my face by 71 And now it's parsley time for the sages of Mary and somewhere Rose Bucket (pronounced "bouquet") is banging on the telly Multiply my face by 71 take the answer you get and give it back when you're done with it Eating someone's sandwiches without a second glance Multiply my face by 71 (instrument-and-utensil-al)